Jokes

Q: How do you eat DNA-spaghetti?
A: With a replication fork.

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“We just hired a molecular biologist. Man, is he small.”

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Q: A gang of mutations were caught red handed during mutagenesis.
When confronted, all of them confessed except one. Why?
A: He was a silent mutation

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Two hydrogen atoms walk out of a bar.
The first turns to the second and says,
“Oh no! I think I’ve left my electron in the bar!?
“Uh-oh… Are you sure??”
“Yes!! I’M POSITIVE!?”

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A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guests joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one.The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

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In a protein lab, it is common for people to set up their proteins as a fusion with other domains which are easily purified through their affinity to ligands attached to resin beads. One of the most common of these

domains is the glutathione S-transferase protein or GST. Typically, there is a small linker region between the protein of interest and the fusion partner and this amino acid sequence contains recognition sequences for proteases. After months in the lab, having limited success with her proteolysis reactions, a young female grad student finally had her patience and perseverence pay off when she destained yet another gel and saw that her protein had indeed been cut by the protease. In her joy, the young woman ran out into the hallway, proclaiming proudly to all: “I’ve got cleavage. I’ve got cleavage. Come over here. Look at my cleavage.”

Two young scientists, a student and a post-doc, had left the lab after another successful day.  As they rode the local transit on their way home, they began a rather animated discussion about the day's results and more specifically about the success that one had with her gel retardation or mobility shift assays.  On and on they went about the "retards" doing this and the "retards" doing that when a woman across the aisle from them finally turned in disgust and said: "The word is mentally handicapped and it's not very nice to call them retards."  The two scientist were shocked by this sudden outburst and the woman got off of the train before the two could correct her on the subject to which they were referring.

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Rules of the Lab:

1. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

2. When you don’t know what you’re doing, do it neatly.

3. Experiments must be reproducible, they should fail the same way each time.

4. First draw your curves, then plot your data.

5. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.

6. Always keep a record of your data. It indicates that you have been working.

7. To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.

8. If you can’t get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.

9. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

10. Do not believe in miracles – rely on them.